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13 Reasons to Celebrate Valentine’s Day

 

Mixed Media on Canvas
Mixed Media on Canvas, Painting by Frau Kolb, 2010

For the Romantics, out there, celebrating Valentine’s day comes as naturally as a bodily function.  The Romantic simply oozes LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!  They have buckets of red paint at the ready.  They are intent on hitting the streets, this Saturday, 14th of February, year 2015, their pubes freshly waxed, to PAINT THE TOWN bright crimson, vibrating vermillion, luscious labia incarnadine, throbbing rose, and scintillating sienna.

You know the type: they got up early, last week to ensure that all their Lovers got long well-worded, heart moving, gut wrenching, LOVE letters written on top quality stationary.  They own and are not afraid to use a fountain pen.  Their hand writing proves they went to art school and the content of their letters shimmers with allusions to the voluptuous works of English poet, John Donne.  Nothing is too grand for this type of being.  Helicopter rides, no problem.  Couple’s massage, with cinnamon oil and brisk strokes, assured.  Red velvet cake and capes, required.

For those that LOVE, love the day is infused with a glow of giving and receiving, not so much cheap chocolates and factory made cards, but attention, affection, and erotic thumbs up from other sexy souls that seek any opportunity to connect and express emotions not often celebrated by the general population.

For Others, Valentine’s day is just another day.   Perhaps the last time that they sent out a Valentine’s greeting was when they were in Kindergarten and the little kid they especially liked failed to get the message and just threw their little paper card away… Since then, they harbor a distrust for the holiday and don’t hesitate to express their lack of enthusiasm for Valentine’s Day.  “It’s a Hallmark Holiday,” said one women, meaning that it was a bit of capitalist fluff, commercial hodgepodge holiday meaning nothing to Nobody.

How sad!

By Annabella Kolb
Stuffed Cloth Heart A Valentine By Annabella Kolb

It is for these downtrodden Lovers that Frau Kolb writes the following:

Talkinggrid List of 13 Reasons to Celebrate Valentine’s Day

1.) LOVE ROCKS!  

Sorry, if you haven’t experienced this for yourself, yet, but if you have ever felt the sting of baby Cupid’s arrow, you know the poison propels paupers to the realms of princes, lifting one UP to new heights.  It is wonderful to feel energized, charged, and ready to reach for the moon, fearless of falling into a pit of cliches, trusting.

2.) Celebrating Secures Sweet Memories

By investing time and thought into planning and producing a special sensation in another one creates a lasting impression, a memory of goodness shared.  These memories hold couples together through difficult times in hospitals and under duress.  Making dinner, setting the table, a single rose… candle light, it all adds up and get stored in that reserve of goodwill from which we draw when work, obligations, and personal difference threaten to erase our bonds with Loved Ones.

3.) Art you my LOVE?

Drawing on your infantile art skills or masterly verve with pen and ink; you can touch another’s heart and create that scrap of sunshine to warm up winter’s coldest days.  YOU CAN!  Allow yourself to find a  good piece of acid-free paper, a scissor, some glue, glitter and BABY you can make your LOVE swoon.

4.) Pump UP the HEART Valve!

We are here now.  We may not be here tomorrow.  We owe it to ourselves to create a feeling of fulfillment in ourselves by expressing our fuzzy FEELINGS!  Nothing will give you more JOLT or excitement than running up the temperature of your heart with warm words and woozy feelings!  Expressing LOVE is a workout for the soul.  Stay fit!  Keep your soul from becoming a floppy blob: find yourself a LOVE worthy of words, wine, and worlds of wonderful exchanges, priceless endearments.

5.) It is good for the economy!

Think of all those chocolate makers, rose farmers, and vendors of paper products (cards, stickers, and trinkets) where would they be without Valentine’s Day to make February, an otherwise dull month, something snazzy.  Valentine’s Day is indeed a commercialized holiday and you have a choice if you want to buy into it or not.   You can celebrate with homegrown flowers, stinky little buds, preferred.  You can make your own cards (see number 3) and write your own sonnets.

Some decide to splurge on jewelry, jets, and fireworks… Over-the-top?  Yes and great for the providers of diamonds (always a rip off), charter plane flights to Maui, and explosives.  HURRAY!

6.) Distinguish Yourself

You could be one of those cranky, irritable, sad, and sometimes lonely people that resist and resent LOVE in its throbbing pulsating glory.  Or you could rent a white stretch limo and ride around town listening to “Thus Spoke Zarathustra,” by Richard Wagner.  The choice is, again, yours.

7.) BEHOLD THE WHITE ELEPHANT!

Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity for secret loves to throw caution to the wind and FLAUNT their LOVE!  Go ahead invite your Other Man/Woman over for dinner with you and your official partner.  Who knows you may find that polyamory or pure honesty are not as foreign to you and yours as previously envisioned.  YOU can use this day to reveal your real feelings and thus release yourself from artifice and arrive at a more authentic being.  (Or, you may become part of an scandalous triple murder suicide and thus earn your fifteen minutes of infamy.)

8.) Quality and Content Matter

This is your chance to state, affirm, and expose your true feelings for the ones that are either in your life or you would like to attract and attach to.  The gift(s) you choose (or don’t) say a lot about the type of love you feel and what you have to offer and what you wish for in exchange.  For all the women getting boxes of silky nothings… you know what is desired in return.  For all the men that discover lovingly deforested females… on this magical day… well, you know you are LOVED.

Valentine's Day 2015
Valentine’s Day 2015

9.) Keeping UP with The Kolbs

Observing tradition and flowing with the yearly calendar of opportunities to celebrate our bond is of the greatest importance to us.  This year we celebrate our sixteenth year together.  My husband has never failed to surprise me with roses red and sweets of various types.  I’m pleased to say that I think we are just at the start of discovering the texture, color, and many shapes our love can take.

10.) Keeping up with The Kardashians 

Just kidding.

11.) Friendship is worthy of Celebrating too.

Do not underestimate how much it will mean to your grandmotherly pal to get a card from you today.  The other mothers in your mothers group will also feel appreciated if you send of an electronic or paper missive listing sweet qualities and good times had.

12.) The Jehova’s Witnesses Disapprove!

This may be my absolute favorite and strongest reason for celebrating Valentine’s Day with gusto; the Jehova’s Witnesses (an international door-to-door christian spirituality cult promising eternal life to the select and destruction to the rest) insist that Valentine’s Day is a Pagan holiday and that celebrating it is … blah, blah, blah… whatever.  I grew up going to meetings three times per week. Thanks to them, I’ve read the King James Bible (in Spanish, no less) from cover to cover more than twice, yet I don’t understand why they think themselves better, more worthy of salvation, than anybody else.  So… please pass the red heart staple gun.  Thank you.

13.) Why Not?

Seriously, what are you afraid of?  Eternal damnation?  Revealing LOVE and being rejected?  Spending too much on overpriced roses?

Get over it and get ON with the Party that is LIFE!

Happy Valentine’s Day, 2015!

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Race to the Top of The Eiffel Tower?

What a Huge Turn ON!

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What is it with humans and our “sky scraping,” towers? WE crave heights! PEAK experience(s), which should be, theoretically, mired by the fact that everyone else on the planet seems to agree about the arch significance of the ever present, “Bucket List,” a standard compendium of minor glories, subtitled, “Travel Triumphs That Must be Experienced by All Humanity.” Every nation’s monuments appear to be made to be seen, recorded, and spun into Profile Pictures, galore! Take for example, visiting the Great Wall of China or the Egyptian Pyramids… If you make it either of those important sites, you will want to celebrate by taking pictures and posting them to the zippiest internet site available so your “friends,” will ogle and envy your good fortune. Right?

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The same is the case with a virgin visit to famed Paris, petty travel glory ignites envy. Just yesterday an on-line friend confessed to being “jealous,” that Frau Kolb is in Paris, the famous City of Lights. Who can blame anyone for a pang of jelly-feelings when faced with another’s APEX moment, a glorious moment during which time stands still and we appreciate reality? Yet, there is nothing to envy. We’ve all had such moments and looking around I could see countless others having their photo opportunity, memorable moment, a golden instant pressed like a butterfly between book pages, a preserved out-of-breath, orgasmic arrival. However, those that know my secret… are aware that when life-threatening advanced breast cancer returned last year… there was no guarantee that I’d live long enough to hold hands with my husband to climb UP and UP and UP to the SUMMIT Level, to this immortal PEAK, a magical point, from which you can see far and wide over all of grand and intricate, studied and admired, cherished and enjoyable, Paris. To envy my ticket, which is an ongoing relationship with mortal illness, a grand motivator, indeed, a spur toward worldly milestone counting, daily writing, and well…no one really envies the price I’ve paid, for the life I live, because that would be insane.

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You get on line, to pay, and wait your turn to start going up,up, up… everyone is more than happy for the privilege of scaling France’s moIMG_3508st prominent national symbol, a monumentally scaled architectural art object, and space-age cash cow (the tower is the world’s most visited paid monument). My husband and I are sporty people and despite my swollen foot, I am faster than most tourists, bellies bulging, and all that jiggly jazz, but NOT faster than the fascinating Tattooed French Lady. She was very thin and had very short hair. Tattoos in the pattern of leopard skin and high-end Fashion brand logos (CoCo Chanel, Givenchy, and so on…) covered her arms in permanent sleeves. Her Lover, perhaps her husband, an adoring pierced man, a few inches shorter than her (and she was not tall) was one step, just, behind her. They waited on line with us and climbed at almost exactly the same rate. By the time we reached the first platform level I felt as though I knew her, them, a little. Perhaps… this feeling was illusionary. But, I was feeling connected with humanity as we reached higher levels, together.

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IMG_8924The couple, I observed, without thinking if they noticed me noticing them. It seemed to me that they were Parisians. They were among the few locals among the mostly international tourists. She was more emotionally reserved than him and kept quiet as he nibbled on her neck and we all waited to buy our tickets. I noted how much more demonstrative couples in Paris are, not only were the pair behind us on line comfortable engaging in loving touch while waiting to race us up to the first and then to the SUMMIT Level, near top, where a little room, houses a funky little instillation of dummies dressed up in period costumes representing Monsieur Eiffel and his big hat wearing corseted daughter and a phonograph bestowing mustached and tweed wearing mannequin representing the celebrated American businessman, Thomas Edison.IMG_8932

We looked in, along with everybody else. We took our pictures, perhaps no different than any others, perhaps better. Who knows? Who cares? We marveled at the expansive views and the gathering crowds behind us. We were ecstatic to be there, having climbed The Eiffel tower along with thousands upon thousands of others and still feeling special to be there. (It doesn’t matter that almost seven million others, per year, make the same secular pilgrimage, to the heart of Romantic Ideation, The Eiffel tower is impressive and I now consider it my favorite national symbol.) This blissful “special,” feeling is replicated over and over, day in and out, each group of people, individuals, routinely loud Americans, every type of Asian combination and permutation, Europeans, lots of determined Germans, focused Russians… all the people of the world, except perhaps Australian Aboriginals and Native Amazon dwellers, were in redundant evidence. All gawking, photographing, and snatching at a moment so significant that it blurs into utter meaningless imagery bought and sold all over the world, little trinket Eiffel tower totes, tee-shirts, towels… every possible object can be bought with Eiffel Tower or Mona Lisa print on them, at Walmart, I am sure. I’ve seen such things.  You have seen the same junk for sale.  You may have Paris, Eiffel Tower, Wallpaperin your bathroom, perhaps.IMG_8930So… do I, feel that it cheapens me or The Tower, that everyone agrees it is a place to kiss a beloved, pop-the-question, and bask in the absolute Must See emblem of the much visited and celebrated city of Paris? No, not at all! The Eiffel Tower is perfect.  It is a dazzling structure, “after all these years.”  Its capacity to withstand the onslaught of projection, massive idealization, dreams, and desire projected upon it. La Tour amazes me by standing up to all the attention! I’m convinced: The Eiffel Tower must be a LOVE Magnet. It must be catching and emitting all the waves of lust and desire that circulate the world’s streets, channeling all that flirty energy to France, the WORLD’s (Erotic) Fantasy (Romantic) Capital!

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I’m convinced that The Tower is emitting a special frequency which excites in humans a sexy turned ON, feeling. You will note its effect particularly in and around Paris. The closer one is to the Tower in the 7th arrondissement of Paris, in either location or sentiment, then the more likely one is to feel this BUZZ, this sacred electricity which radiates from the groin, the head, the heart… it is entirely human.  It is: concentrated Romance, in its purest form. To prove my theory, I observed and counted and photographed countless couples kissing, curled up together, a pile of arms and legs mingling on lawns park benches all over pretty Paris. I would post my records, findings, but I fear that such action might result in trouble for someone that doesn’t want to be identified on their afternoon stroll and make-out session with someone else’s main squeeze. So… I demonstrate self control.

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Whatever the reason, it is plain to see, that “Romance and Conquest,” are in every tourist’s eager eye as they climb or ride the elevator up to the summit of the world’s most celebrated and replicated radio tower and phallus symbol since The Tower of Babel was leveled by punishing confusion, dispensed in a sudden gaggle of new tongues.  Just as, the post-coital looks of satisfaction etched on the faces of the fortunate visitors as they exit the monument in droves is easy to decipher.  The code of conquest, over the desired object, in this case imaged as a woman, built to be explored, endures.

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